Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize