I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
