saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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