Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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