i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
