I wish I could punch you in the face.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
