The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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