3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
