I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
