conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
