put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
