you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
