Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
