literally had 100 drinks last night.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
