He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
