And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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