He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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