I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
