Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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