this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
