We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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