): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
