I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
