I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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