butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
