That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
