This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
whose ass print is on the piano?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize