if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
