Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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