if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
