those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize