I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
