Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
