Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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