Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
