I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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