she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize