I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
