I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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