i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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