My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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