God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
