lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
