Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
