I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
