I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
