You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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