If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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