Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize