I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
