I just made out with a guy for $7.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
