I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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