Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
