I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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