I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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