Sacagawea was the original milf.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
third nipple confirmed
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
