It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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