Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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