I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
