Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
should my penis look like a turkey
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize