Cold hands, warm shart.
My balls are so social today.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize